


In The Morning.

by Bakuras



Category: Dangan Ronpa 3: The End of 希望ヶ峰学園 | The End of Kibougamine Gakuen | End of Hope's Peak High School
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-23
Updated: 2016-09-23
Packaged: 2018-08-16 20:53:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8117203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bakuras/pseuds/Bakuras
Summary: Juzo Sakakura must have dreamt again.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a little prompt I filled for a friend!!! I'll definitely do more with this ship later, but this sounded pretty cute and I wanted to try it!!!

The first time he feels Kyosuke Munakata inside of him, Sakakura gnaws back tears.

 

Not out of pain, no.  It  _ does _ hurt - he’s loved Munakata since he was old enough to even start  _ thinking _ about sex, and from then on it was only ever him.  The idea of being with anybody else like this never crossed his mind.  It’s his first time, and it’s sore, but that alone isn’t enough to bring him so dangerously close to sobbing into the other man’s shoulder.

 

In fact, maybe it  _ isn’t _ one singular thing.  Maybe it’s the combination of the joy and fear that feel incompatible, as though he isn’t  _ meant _ to feel them both at once, let alone in such an overwhelming capacity.

 

He supposes it’s how he ought to feel, maybe, now that he finally,  _ finally _ has him.  Munakata is something that, until he realized he wanted him, he didn’t even know he  _ could _ want so badly.  It’s all-consuming, it deafens him to everything else he could desire, and now that he feels him in his arms, in his body - it feels like he could slip between his fingers at any moment.  

 

And that would hurt more than never loving him at all.  

 

But he’s  _ present _ , he  _ is _ .  If he’s right, and it’s only Munakata’s loneliness that’s driving him into him, and this is the first and only time they make love, he doesn’t want to think of another thing for as long as he can.  If he’s right, and Munakata leaves in the morning and never looks back, he wants this to be the memory that never loses a single detail.

 

If he’s right, and Kyosuke Munakata could never love him, and Kyosuke Munakata runs away with Chisa Yukizome and touches her like  _ this _ every night, and Kyosuke Munakata never, ever thinks about this again - the idea of a single shift of the sheets, a single tug on his hair, a single ache in his legs as he rides the man he loves more than his own life, fading from recollection is devastating.  

 

Munakata cums inside of him.  He tries to memorize the cadence of his ragged breathing when he does.

 

Sakakura doesn’t want to sleep after that.  

 

It takes him eventually, though.  As always.

 

\--- 

 

Juzo Sakakura doesn’t open his eyes at first.  If he’s right, he doesn’t want to know it.

 

If he’s right, the minutes before he realizes that he’s alone, that he’s either been abandoned or  _ dreamed _ again are precious.  

 

He has to do it sometime.  It’s going to hurt - he’s done it before.  The reality that Kyosuke Munakata does not love him is heavy and thick, always gnawing at his heart and mind like a rabid dog.  He can’t fend it off forever.  

 

Every time he wakes up after a dream, every time the light shines through the blinds and illuminates the emptiness beside him, every time he’s forced to shoulder the weight of knowing he’s never  _ touched _ him like that, he’s never  _ held _ him like that - every time.  Every time it’s worse.  Every time he thinks he can’t do it again.  He can’t.  He’s not strong enough.  And every time, every  _ single _ time he makes himself promise not to hope, every  _ single _ time he begs to himself to sleep dreamlessly, to stop himself from holding him and ripping him away in the morningtime over, and  _ over _ , and  _ over _ \- 

 

…

 

He can’t.  He can’t he can’t he can’t he can’t he  _ can’t.   _

 

He can’t  _ do it _ anymore, he - 

 

…

 

…’s right.  He was right.  

 

_ He can’t he can’t he  _ **_can’t -_ **

 

The bed’s empty.

 

\---

 

It takes a long, long time.  Sakakura almost laughs at himself for grieving a relationship he never had in the first place.

 

_ Come on.  We’ve done this before. _

 

_ One more time isn’t the kicker, is it? _

 

He does eventually get out of bed.  It’ll take...at least one or two more before his heart gives out, he figures.  He’s not dead yet. 

 

_ Coffee.   _ He thinks to himself, in spite of his own awareness that trying to focus on something else - something much more unimportant than tending to his already cracking resolve - is useless. _  Yeah.  Usually helps.   _

 

There’s a coat hanging off the side of his chair - lighter and less bulky than the one he wears normally, but warm enough to keep the morning chills at bay, for the most part.  He still crosses his arms and pulls it tight around him like a blanket, though.  

 

_ Ha.  _

 

_ Munakata would ask why he didn’t just zip the damn thing, wouldn’t he. _

 

Sakakura pulls it a bit tighter.

 

The kitchen, for what it is, does feel more like a  _ home _ than the rest of the apartment.  It’s small, but the wide windows allow in a lot of sunlight, and the white wooden secondhand furniture brightens the room even further.  There’s plants, too - a few flowers sitting in old coffee mugs, a little fake fern on top of the counter.  He even has some sprouts growing next to the…

 

…

 

_ Fridge…? _

 

The…. _ fridge _ just closed.  He heard it.  That really couldn’t have been anything else. 

 

It couldn’t. 

 

…

 

_ It couldn’t.  It… _

 

_...couldn’t be. _

 

Getting his hopes up is… one of the crueler parts of this fate, really.  Not the  _ cruelest _ , not by  _ a long shot _ , but cruel.  And every time they came up, boy did they  _ ever come down.   _

 

Juzo Sakakura has the awful, awful habit of breaking his own heart over.  And over.  And over.  And over.  He can’t learn.  He can’t stop.  

 

Because stopping means  _ acceptance _ .  Stopping means  _ relenting _ .  Stopping, by its very definition, means coming to terms with what he already knows but cannot swallow all at once.  And  _ that _ was a whole other can of -

 

… - Munakata.

 

Kyosuke Munakata, in his kitchen.  Wearing the same clothes he was in before they - 

 

“I was up.  I thought you might be hungry.”  He says, and then it hits Sakakura like a sledgehammer would hit a sheet of glass.  

 

_ It happened.  It happened.   _

 

**_This time,_ ** _ it happened. _

 

Kyosuke seems to take notice of the fact that he’s standing like a deer in headlights, probably, because he tilts his head  _ ever _ so slightly to the left, almost like a dog might.  He doesn’t say anything, but his concern is obvious.  

 

Sakakura expects him to run, actually.  Expects him to pick up his phone, call Chisa Yukizome, and never let himself or the night they shared together become anything more than an afterthought again.  

 

What he doesn’t expect is for Munakata to come closer.  And closer.  And closer.  

 

But the lack of  _ that _ expectation is nothing in comparison to how  _ he _ reacts.  Because for every time he’s played this out, for every version of this scenario he’s run through in his head, the one thing he’s never, ever done is instantly accept it.  Maybe he was guarding himself, then.  Who knows, really.  And who cares.  

 

How can that matter when he’s here.  

  
How can that matter when Sakakura realizes he isn’t leaving.  


End file.
